It simply has to be one of the worst feelings ever. Especially when it is pulled out by a supposed true friend. You are thrown off your feet. Crash landing in a painful position on the ground. The wind knocked right out of you. Cut to the quick.
If I ever did that to anyone, I am sorry. If I was ever that callous, forgive me. If I am ever so insensitive, I deserve what I get.
Today will pass and these feelings will too. The bruise will heal with time. But is the friendship doomed? Is forgiveness possible?
Advice would be welcome.
Jana, I'd like to think that the "true friend" did not intentionally inflict the pain you have experienced and will be seeking forgiveness. If that happens, then, in my book, the friendship is not doomed and the apology should be accepted. You may have your guard up for a while and he/she will need to earn your trust again but it can occur. You are a kind and caring person and my guess is that you have not been callous and inconsiderate and do not deserve to have the rug pulled from under. I hope things are resolved and that 2011 is filled with love, peace and happiness for you.
ReplyDeleteWill tell you a an old Bulgarian folk tale. You draw the conclusions for yourself...
ReplyDeleteThe Bear and The Bad Word
A man once went for firewood in the forest. A baby bear came out of a cave but got entangled in the bushes and could not detach itself. The man saw it and felt sorry for the baby bear. He went, remove it from the bushes and carried it back to the cave.
The mother bear saw the man and said:
- You did a great thing and I will be indebted to you forever.
The man was afraid, but what to do? Collected all his courage and approached the bear, and spoke with her. They agreed to meet again in the forest.
Saying goodbye the bear and the man kissed. The man though couldn't hold it and said:
- You are very nice and we could have been close friends. Yet, I don't think I can ever tolerate your bad breath.
He never understood how much it hurt the bear. She felt sick but said nothing, bowed and begged:
- Hit me on the head with an ax as strongly as you can. If not, I'll eat you.
The man got confused and tried every way to pursue her to stop her request. Finally he saw that there was no way, and hit her with the ax; blood gashed out of her head. Then they parted.
Time passed, the man went back into the woods to look for the bear but couldn't find her. After many years they met at the same place. They shook hands and hugged as old friends. When the man was preparing to leave, the bear spoke:
- Look at me, brother. Check whether there is a trace of the wound that you caused when you hit me those years back.
The man looked at the bear's neck and couldn't see anything. The wound was healed and the scar was gone. The man said to the bear:
- Dear friend, I cannot even see where did I exactly hit you.
- You see, brother, that deep wound got healed and I have forgotten about it but the bad words you said to me, I will not forget till I am alive. The wound heals, the bad word rests forever.
Thank you Laura for your kind words, and Eppla for your story. I will reflect on this.
ReplyDelete